Servers Lagging

My client is always lagging when i join multiplayer server no matter if their ping or tps. It seems to get worse at night however i have changed multiple things like render distance and allocating more ram and none of it helps. I load the game it takes ages loading terrain and when i join the chunks load very slow and when i speak in chat my message doesn't appear until a good 5 minutes later. Also when i mine blocks they disappear and never come back or take ages to refresh.