When I try to split the amount of items in half I have selected using the left control key as I normally would, it doesn't split the items! It acts as though nothing has happened.
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Exactly what buttons are you pushing, in what order. Also, what order are you releasing those buttons in? What does it say in the controls screen for button 2? What do you mean by "it acts as though nothing has happened"? It literally acts as if you hadn't pushed any buttons at all, or it does something else?
NO, tails, this isn't the stupid bug you think it is. it is a separate issue.