Minecraft crashing

Put the summary of the bug you're having here

What I expected to happen was...:
I expected the game to start when the launcher closed

What actually happened was...:
no matter what version I use, the game always crashes

Steps to Reproduce:
1. I dont know if it only happens to me first of all
2. I just started my game and it crashed, so I can't really explain what happened
3. ...

The crash report:

Minecraft Crash Report ----
// This is a token for 1 free hug. Redeem at your nearest Mojangsta: @unknown

Time: 14-05-12 17:23
Description: Initializing game

java.lang.ClassFormatError: Unknown constant tag 103 in class file javax/imageio/stream/MemoryCacheImageInputStream
at com.sun.imageio.spi.InputStreamImageInputStreamSpi.createInputStreamInstance(Unknown Source)
at javax.imageio.ImageIO.createImageInputStream(Unknown Source)
at javax.imageio.ImageIO.read(Unknown Source)
at ban.a(SourceFile:510)
at ban.ag(SourceFile:314)
at ban.f(SourceFile:712)
at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.main(SourceFile:148)

A detailed walkthrough of the error, its code path and all known details is as follows:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

– Head –
Stacktrace:
at com.sun.imageio.spi.InputStreamImageInputStreamSpi.createInputStreamInstance(Unknown Source)
at javax.imageio.ImageIO.createImageInputStream(Unknown Source)
at javax.imageio.ImageIO.read(Unknown Source)
at ban.a(SourceFile:510)
at ban.ag(SourceFile:314)

– Initialization –
Details:
Stacktrace:
at ban.f(SourceFile:712)
at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.main(SourceFile:148)

– System Details –
Details:
Minecraft Version: 1.7.6
Operating System: Windows 8 (x86) version 6.2
Java Version: 1.7.0_45, Oracle Corporation
Java VM Version: Java HotSpot(TM) Client VM (mixed mode), Oracle Corporation
Memory: 2578912 bytes (2 MB) / 26808320 bytes (25 MB) up to 518979584 bytes (494 MB)
JVM Flags: 2 total; -XX:HeapDumpPath=MojangTricksIntelDriversForPerformance_javaw.exe_minecraft.exe.heapdump -Xmx512M
AABB Pool Size: 0 (0 bytes; 0 MB) allocated, 0 (0 bytes; 0 MB) used
IntCache: cache: 0, tcache: 0, allocated: 0, tallocated: 0
Launched Version: 1.7.6
LWJGL: 2.9.1
OpenGL: ~_ERROR~ RuntimeException: No OpenGL context found in the current thread.
GL Caps:
Is Modded: Probably not. Jar signature remains and client brand is untouched.
Type: Client (map_client.txt)
Resource Packs: [Faithful-1.7.zip, Offline Faithful.zip, Noodle Pack 2.0 BETA.zip]
Current Language: ~_ERROR~ NullPointerException: null
Profiler Position: N/A (disabled)
Vec3 Pool Size: 0 (0 bytes; 0 MB) allocated, 0 (0 bytes; 0 MB) used
Anisotropic Filtering: Off (1)