Crashes And Crashes And Crashes Tried On 1.8.8 And Latest 1.9 Snapshot

Minecraft is not supported on Chromebooks.

It is not the chromebook causing the issue. It's purely Ubuntu, which is fully supported by Mojang. Requesting issue reopen. @Mustek

Nor is it crouton causein bugs

Causeing*

The machine is still a chromebook.

Either way, since Java doesn't even recognize your CPU, it's definitely a technical support issue, not a bug.