from my screen i can see all the skins i change my player into. as soon as i join a server i can see my skin but all my friends only see the alex skin. even ones that i upload into the game show up as alex in the servers.
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In Settings > Profile, do your friends have "Only Allow Trusted Skins" enabled? If so, please have them disable it and see if that fixes the issue.

no that didnt work and i did that before i reported the issue

Thank you for your report!
We're actually already tracking this issue at MCPE-78206, so I will resolve and link this ticket as a duplicate.
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Go to settings and find the Only trusted skin something like that, you can find it in the Profile section in your settings.
Turn it off or On and try going into servers.