HORRIBLE lag on 10-Player realms

This has been happening ever since we launched the realm, about 4 weeks ago. Essentially its delayed server lag as if the tick speed got ramped up, blocks break but don't drop, no particles, then suddenly there ARE particles and it drops, its all delayed, food wont properly eat, sometimes taking a whole minute to eat one food, blocks place but then fake-out and de-place themselves (i get the block back but its still frustrating, especially when your bridging), it goes on and on. Ever since the new update yesterday (ghast update) the lag has doubled, its more frequent and worse. I’ve tried everything, changed region many times, closed/opened realm, reset my drivers, checked for entity cram or redstone (which i know its not since the lag comes in waves, is worldwide, and has been happening since the start of the realm). I’m not sure if this is specific to just my realm but i have found some similar posts complaining about lag as well.