I am the owner of the Realm and everytime I join in minutes or before I even join it keeps telling me " connection Lost "
I have tried everything from working with my firewall/resetting my router
Nothing seems to work but it keeps disconnecting me.
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What is the exact error message stated when attempting to join realms?

Internal Exception : java.ioException: Connection Reset by peer
In that case, this report is invalid as this appears to be a technical support issue and the bug tracker does not have the appropriate resources to help you with this problem. Instead, please contactΒ Community SupportΒ in order to receive assistance.

Thank you for your report!
We're tracking this issue in REALMS-3593, so this ticket is being resolved and linked as a duplicate.
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Hmm, this sounds like it might be an issue with Realms, and Realms has it's own bug tracker here:
https://bugs.mojang.com/projects/REALMS/summary
Maybe try posting the issue there, they should be able to help you