multiplayer servers return "Can't Connect to Server"

when i try to join a multiplayer server, server menu says "Can't Connect to Server"and if i try anyway i get 'io.netty.channel.AbstractChannel$AnnotatedConnectException:syscall:getsockopt(...) failed: Connection refused", i have tried for about a week and i cant connect, i started after a launcher update, after further investigation it only happens when i run Optifine versions