I just got done making an enderman farm and I later find out that enderman do not attack endermites
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I have tried both and neither of the ways you spawn an endermite will endermen attack.
This is solved now BUT it only works if you spawn it in with enderpearls

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Did you spawn the endermite via enderpearl or spawn egg? Because I recall that endermites spawned via egg were intentionally immune to the endermen's aggro. Correct me if I'm wrong though, I can't seem to find the bug report for it.