EDIT: Problem was my end. Turns out my drivers weren't as up to date as they said they were. Apologies for wasting your time.
From title screen onwards, Framerate is nearly always below 5FPS (which obviously makes the game entirely unplayable). This, despite totally acceptable performance on 1.8.9 on the exact same laptop. Little to no improvement from changing in-game graphics settings.
Linked issues
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