For some reason after hitting "Play" on the launcher, the Mojang splash screen comes up, loads to about 85%, then hardlocks. The screen is still visible but if I click on it I'm told it's not responding. After updating my OS it seemed to work fine, but when I went to start it this morning it started doing it again. Ive tried uninstalling and deleting all associated files, redownloading and reinstalling it, updating my OS, and just about every other fix I can find.
Happens no matter which version I try to play
Yeah dude I have the exact same problem. It has happened two times to me on two different occasions. I installed optifine both times, minecraft loaded up fine on any version I wanted, but the next time I closed my launcher and loaded it up again it didn't work and I got the problem you described earlier. Now though I can only go into versions of Minecraft before 1.8, anything after that doesn't work. I wish I could help you but I really don't know how to fix this. A lot of the times I get this message "java se runtime has stop working", the internet search came up with update your drivers. Good luck trying to find a fix.
Yours Sincerely Leo