I got a bug fixed on my Nintendo switch and I went to join my friends realm he plays on xbox but it said the realm is outdated and I couldn't join please help
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The same thing happened to me today, and the bug goes both ways for my friend and me. I don't know if there's a way to change the version your map is on but other than that I have no idea how to fix it.
Realms will always update to the latest release version every time a new release version is... released. So it will update to 1.16.100 within 48 hours (usually much less) of you attempting to join the realm on the latest version.
You should not downgrade maps (beta or non-beta) as it may cause issues. The safest way is for both players to be on the same version (if needed, beta version) of the game.
To leave the beta: https://help.minecraft.net/hc/en-us/articles/360040841471-How-to-Join-and-leave-a-Minecraft-Beta
If you are unable to leave the beta see MCPE-33270
What version is the realm on? I had a similar problem when trying to join my sister's world when she was in Xbox and I was on mobile. It turns out she'd been automatically opted in to the beta version, so she was already in a beta version of 1.16 before it was released. she ended up having to opt out of the beta so I could join, because I wasn't playing on the same version. Make sure nothing like that is happening with your friends realm, and double check that you're both on the same version.