Can't log into realms

I have been playing on my realm subscription for a week or 2 with no issues except all the invisible wall until today when I tried to get on and it says "you cannot play on Realms because of how your xbox live account is set up. This can be changed in your privacy and online safety settings on xbox.com". I found others with this issue but the solutions only suggest the same thing that the game does. My settings are as open as you can get. Tried changing them from the website. restarted my console a few times. I can log in on to the realm on my pc just fine and its the same account. Any advice?