Huge bugs mainly with nether portals, literally can’t play now

Using up to date edition on Nintendo Switch.
My wife and I simply wanted to play in the same world. We finally decided the only option was to pay for a realm. Never knew how bad that was going to be..
Right now I am stuck in the nether as every time I enter a portal it exits and says disconnected from server. This has been going on for 48 hours. Am literally stuck going around trying portals in every different place to the same end, kicked out, reloaded back in the nether. Unable to play for two days.
Before this have died and lost everything due to going through a portal and suffercating to death because the next screen wouldn’t load.
Every time I use a portal and it worked, it always took health away while loading, all portals to me but not to my wife’s account.
also when going through nether portal from say 800x800z, game takes us to upper would 800/800 instead of 6400/6400 but seemingly at random.
Then other day using the crafting table, while using it, the items I made disappeared and took the items I used to make it and completely disappeared.
Aside from other small bugs like game randomly closing every hour or so, this has been so painful and have had no sign of anything getting better?