io.netty.channel.abstractchannel$annotatedconnectexception connection refused

It's a technical issue; see the moderator note on MC-120362 for further information.

I didnt see how that tells me how to resolve my problem

Same issue here when I and my friends are trying to connect to our realm. 😞

Thank you for your report!
We're tracking this issue in REALMS-3903, so this ticket is being resolved and linked as a duplicate.

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