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Uninstalled xbox app from android today and was able to connect using web version xbox live.  Only worked for 1 session and then back to nothing working 

The workarounds dont mention how to troubleshoot android . . .

Using android as are 2 others on same wifi. No restricted skins. Latest version. Two tablets can connect to each others worlds but not mine,(smartphone) and I can only connect to theirs if I connect to a server world first, (this does not work for their connection to me). Tried resetting wifi rebooting devices. Not cross platform but still happening. Only started 2 days ago when we updated minecraft (two updates in quick succession), no problems previous 6 months of playing together. No changes to our setup other than two recent minecraft updates .

First symptom was shortly after updating to 1.16.20.  my world appeared to stay available to join under friends tab for about 6 hours after I had quit out (there had still been 1 friend with me in the world afk) (showing 2 of 5 friends) and even when I loaded or created other worlds they were not visible, only the old one. This old world showed v 1.16.20 despite my having updated all 3 devices to 1.16.40 shortly after quitting it. The broken world eventually disappeared but now I have no luck connecting as described above

Same issue.  I create worlds on android and even though others on same wifi can see it, when they try to join it says unable to connect to server. I had the same issue connecting to theirs ( also android and they connect to each other ok). I managed to connect to theirs once after joining a server world and quitting it but this does not help them join  my worlds. Using newest version. Restarted turned wi fi off and on. Not resolved