cant join friends

Last week, I redownloded Minecraft on my new phone. Joined my friends world, and we built together for a couple hours, until it started kicking me out for no reason. I repeatedly went back in. Then, when I was kicked out for the last time, I tried looking for my friend to join on my joinable friends tab, her world wasn't there, even though she was on minecraft (I was on the phone with her so I knew she was playing still). I exited and went back in. Still wasn't there. I did this for quite a few times till I gave up. I tried the next day, I was able to get in but it kicked me out AGAIN. and then she was gone from my joinable friends, once again. I have deleted Minecraft, made a new Microsoft account, I'm on stable wifi, her world is set to the correct multiplayer options, I have gone through my advanced settings from my minecraft AND xbox app and everything is correct. She and I have tried EVERYTHING. I've done so much research on this to find a solution but nothing is helping. Everyone recommends making sure the settings are right, and they are. I paid money for this game to play with my friends and I cant even do that now.