I have been having the exact same issue.
Spent about a day working through it with no success.
TLDR; Ruled out network, version and platform issues. The switch can't connect to my Windows 10 Minecraft specifically. That leads me to believe there is something about my Windows or Minecraft environment that is preventing the switch from connecting. Every other combination of platform and network works. I can connect when the switch hosts. The switch can connect to other windows 10 hosts on and off the network. It just can't connect when my Windows 10 machine hosts.
It stopped working about a week ago (around 6-8pm PST 1/10/23).
We can see my Windows 10 user and game from the switch under Friends, and receive invites, however any attempts to connect timeout.
I can join worlds on the switch from windows. The switch can connect to other computers in the house when they host. It seems to just be me or my windows 10 install. I can not think of anything that would have changed on the network or my PC around the time it stopped working.
Both the switch and the pc are connected to the same network via wifi and ethernet respectively. There is not an active VPN.
What I've tried so far:
Verifying version parity v1.19.51
Verified microsoft accounts
Verified nintendo switch online membership
Reserved IP for the switch (to eliminate DHCP issues)
Disabling router firewall
Disabling router NAT
Removing the router from the equation by connecting both the switch and pc to a wifi hotspot
Reinstalling minecraft on both devices
Deleting all of the texture packs on the pc
Disabling only allow custom skins
Adding Inbound/Outbound rules for minecraft to the windows defender firewall
Disabling the firewall completely
Restarting both devices multiple times
I'm going kind of bonkers trying to figure this out and not finding much else to try online.
@cooldemo perhaps. For us, there are two windows laptops and an iPad that can all join my Windows 10 world, only the Switch is unable. As best I can tell, everyone can join worlds hosted by everyone else except for that Switch to this computer.