After a friend and I sat down for a bit and tried solving this, editing our launch options proved futile (things like -Xmx1G -Xmn1000M -Xss1G, removing some things, etc.). The launcher shows nothing notably different. I'll attempt to reinstall Java, and if it gets to it, Minecraft as well.
Also, -Xss1G makes the launcher start the game, and then nothing happens. Not sure why.
Sorry, usually not sure what to send, or where to find it.
Same result with the most recent snapshot.
Adding another launcher log just to see if anyone can see any differences.
Updating Java doesn't appear to help, either. I will continue to look into this.
Apologies if this is a bit unrelated, but I found some bugs relating to any UI in the game, as well as the realms screen. The only missing character I've seen so far is a lowercase 'v', as shown above, which changes pretty much every menu in the game, such as the chat and menu screens. The missing characters problem can be solved with reloading your resource pack with F3+T, however it doesn't fix the player list on realms. I'm not entirely sure if they're related, but I hope this might help link the two problems in a way if they are related.
I went ahead and added -Xss1M, as the post you linked me to said to do so.
I am finally able to launch MC, and I thank you for helping me.
Found a workaround! Adding -Xss320k -Xmx1G in your JVM Arguments works, but it may depend on your computer. Mess around with the two numbers until it works!