In our experience, the autosave lag is the primary problem, and occurs when playing with at least 2 players on the Switch in split screen, and gets worse with the more players. By "lag" I mean that the players can still move and click on objects, but none of the interactions actually occur while the autosave icon is on the screen: doors and chests don't open, switches don't get toggled, etc. Once the icon goes away, gameplay resumes normally.
I play with my 2 sons. If we all play on the Switch the autosave lag is terrible. If we each play on separate devices (one son on the switch, one on a laptop, and me on another laptop) the game never lags. We've played with 3 devices in the following configurations with no lag problems:
On 3 separate Realms, hosted on each one of our accounts
Hosting multiplayer game on the Switch through Xbox Live
Hosting multiplayer game on either laptop through Xbox Live
Alternatively, in our experience the autosave lag occurs in all of the following situations:
Playing locally on the Switch with 2 or more players, more players = longer lag
Playing on a realm with at least 2 players on the Switch (I really don't understand this lag, considering the game is saved on a server not on the Switch, but it's what we observe)
Playing on a multiplayer game hosted on the Switch or laptop through Xbox Live, with 2 or more players on the Switch
Hope this helps in diagnosing the issue.
Copy your world to Win10 or mobile first. When you see it in your list of worlds, click on the edit button next to it, click Multiplayer, and turn on "Visible to LAN players". Should fix the issue.
Just want to confirm that re-enabling Multiplayer and the "Visible to LAN Players" switches on Win10 before copying to my BDS solved this one for me, thanks @FollowThisLogic. I had to toggle both switches because I've noticed that when downloading Realm saves to Win10 the Multiplayer switch is toggled on automatically but the underlying setting is not really enabled. If you don't toggle the Multiplayer switch off/back on, the "Friends" drop down is disabled (which is strange) and no players being able to join the game.
I can confirm this problem. If you have 2 stacks that can't be combined, try double clicking on one of them. This will force the game to combine them into a full stack of 64 in your hand, which you can then reintegrate into your other stacks in your storage system.