This is also happening to me in 1.12, it's been happening since 1.6 or 1.7 I think.
Still experiencing this in 1.11, have been since around 1.8 or 1.7, it's been really long since I've been able to play with friends via xbox live.
Still getting this, it started happening since 1.8 and my friend still can't join my Windows 10 world. And I can't find information to resolve it. It's been too long without a solution.
Also having this problem in 1.12, I haven't been able to play with my friends on xbox live since 1.7 more or less. I really want this problem fixed, also neither of us has changed multiplayer or internet settings at all.